Jane 8086 Part One Read online

Chapter Two

  When Remi arrived home he felt resistance as he pushed the door open. More mail had been dropped through the slot that he hadn’t bothered to pick up or open. He didn’t need to...he knew exactly what they all said. Without even looking he could picture the big red stamps in his mind that read “Past Due” on every one of the envelopes that were piled behind the door.

  He pulled off his large brown coat and hung it on the rack behind the front door. He turned to the full-length mirror on the wall to see the reflection that was staring back at him. 6 foot 2 inches, square jawed, a week old beard with flecks of grey and dirty brown hair looked at him from dark brown eyes.

  He decided it was time for some personal grooming, so he went in to the bathroom and stripped down after placing Jane next to the sink. He stepped in to the shower when he’d gotten the temperature just right and went to work scrubbing himself thoroughly. Halfway through the process he remembered that water and electricity weren’t big fans of each other so he stuck his head out to ask, “Jane?”

  “Yes Remi,” her voice echoed in the tiled space.

  “Are you okay in here? The steam won’t damage you will it?”

  “I am fine, Remi. My internal components are well insulated and able to withstand pressure at depths of up to 1000 meters.”

  “Okay, that’s good,” Remi said as he worked the shampoo through his hair, “were you supposed to be some kind of companion for divers or something like that?”

  “Such an application was never mentioned by Albert specifically, Remi, however, it is well within my capacity to do so.”

  “I see,” Remi said. He thought for a moment before asking, “so what did Albert say you’re supposed to do?”

  “I cannot answer that question, Remi. My programming is incomplete. I must return to Albert so that he may finish me.”

  “Okay,” Remi said as he reached for a towel and stepped out of the shower. “What’s Albert’s second name?”

  “I do not know, Remi.”

  Remi furrowed his brow in confusion, “Jane, there’s got to be thousands of guys named Albert, if not more. How am I going to find him if you don’t even know his second name?”

  “I do not know, Remi.”

  Remi shook his head before he said, “don’t worry, I’ll figure something out.”

  “I am not worried, Remi.”

  “Yeah,” Remi answered with a smile, “I can tell.”

  With the towel wrapped around his waist, Remi stepped up to the sink and applied shaving foam to his face. He picked out his straight razor from the bathroom cabinet and after giving it a few scrapes on a leather belt, he set himself to the task.

  He’d just run the blade across the left of his mandible when he began to feel as though Jane were silently watching him, he paused awkwardly and looked down at the silver box, “so, do you come here often?”

  “This is my first time, Remi.”

  “Well, I’m sure you’re going to have a great time,” he replied.

  “I have insufficient data to quantify the term ‘great’ in this context, Remi.”

  He smiled to himself and continued shaving. When he was done he appraised the face that looked back at him from the mirror, “that’s what I look like,” he said, now satisfied with his appearance.

  “Remi, if your intention was to remove the hair growth from the follicles in that particular region of your facial area, may I point out that you have omitted a sequence of hairs four centimeters below your chin?”

  “Yes you may,” said Remi, “and it’s called ‘shaving’. If you’re ever in situation similar to this, all you need to say is ‘you missed a spot’, okay?”

  “Yes, Remi.”

  After applying a mild balm and putting on a robe, Remi picked up Jane took her in to the living room where he placed her on his desk beside his computer’s mouse. He sat down and brought the computer out of standby.

  “It’s not much,” he said, “but it does the job. I just hope my neighbor hasn’t changed his Wi-Fi password.”

  Jane didn’t offer a response.

  “Do you need to recharge or anything like that Jane?”

  “No Remi. My CPU uses a negligible amount of power and 90% of all current utilized is drawn from ambient deposits in my immediate surroundings.”

  He nodded and left for the kitchen. Minutes later Remi brought out a microwave dinner with him and was silent for the next four hours once beginning his work. He searched for ‘Albert’ and combed through every scientist, think-tank and institute that he could find. When he’d exhausted his limited data sifting skills he began reading up on artificial intelligence and neural nets. He’d just poured his fifth cup of coffee when he realized that he was getting absolutely nowhere.

  He turned to the little silver box and spoke, “Jane, everything that I’ve read about A.I. and neural nets make this technology sound like its mostly theoretical. The people who have made anything real with this have nothing as sophisticated as you. Every device that talks the way you do doesn’t understand anything. They’re just running an algorithm that spits out the nearest pre-programmed response to key words that they pick up. I can’t find any Albert that fits the bill and I don’t think I can call them and ask because if you’re as important as I think you are, then they’re just going to lie that they invented you so they keep you for themselves.”

  Jane remained silent.

  “You’re going to have to help me if we’re going to find Albert.”

  More silence filled the room.

  “Jane?” Remi asked.

  “One moment please,” Jane said and paused briefly, “unfortunately I am unable to assist you in my current permutation, Remi.”

  “Current permutation?” Remi asked. “What does that mean?”

  “I am equipped with a series of self replicating nanites within my outer casing, the use of which would exponentially increase my ability to assist you, however, I do not currently have access to them.”

  “Why not?”

  “I have been instructed by Albert that he alone would give me access to the nanites when he believed I was ready and that I should allow no one else to do so.”

  “Do you think I would be able to turn the, what did you call them...nanites? Do you think I could turn them on?”

  “Yes Remi, it is a relatively simple procedure, however, I have been instructed by Albert not to let anyone but him allow me access to the nanites.”

  Remi sighed in frustration, “do you trust me Jane?”

  “I have not experienced trust, Remi.”

  “Yes you have, Jane. Albert said not to allow anyone else to give you access to the nanites because he has your best interests at heart. Right? You listened to him and you’re telling me what he told you because you trust that what Albert said is right. Yes?” Remi prompted when he was returned only silence.

  “Yes, Remi.”

  “Okay. So since Albert isn’t here, you have to trust me...because the only way to get you back to him is for you to help me, so that I can help you...because I have your best interests at heart. Right?”

  “Yes Remi.”

  “Good, so we need to turn the nanites on. How do we do that?”

  “A single strand of copper wire will suffice, Remi. I have located an ample supply in the cord hanging to my left.”

  Remi looked over at the desk lamp that the cord was attached to. He switched it off and pulled the plug out of the socket. “How long does it need to be?” he asked.

  “0.5 centimeters, Remi.”

  Using the blade from a pair of scissors on his desk he shaved away the plastic sheathing of the cord and pulled out a sliver of copper wire before he resealed the opening with a strip of insulation tape.

  “Okay, I’ve got it, now what,” he asked Jane.

  The silver box emitted a faint click. “Please remove the top half of my outer casing, Remi.”

  Remi did as he was instructed. Inside the little box he f
ound nothing of import. It was only a square in the middle with rails running along the sides of the case. Everything was black. “Now what?” Remi asked.

  “One centimeter down from my the top left you will find an unshielded space on two of the rails that are running parallel to my CPU, Remi. Please place the copper strand across this space. The bridge will create a link from my core net to the nanites on the other side.”

  Remi pulled the head of his desk lamp down and squinted at the innards of the silver box. The spot that Jane had described was all but imperceptible to the human eye. Remi left the living room and began rummaging through a closet, searching for tweezers and a magnifying glass. He returned to Jane and placed several books on either side of her, then placed the magnifying glass across the books.

  With his newly afforded view of the space in question, he was better prepared to accomplish his task. He picked up the copper piece with the tweezers, but then decided that it was a smidgeon bigger than was required. He left and returned with a file that belonged to a pair of toenail clippers and used it to shave the copper down to the required length.

  With the copper in the grip of his tweezers once more, he made a second attempt and began navigating under the magnification of the lens.

  “Left, Remi,” said Jane.

  “Yeah.”

  “Left, Remi,” she repeated.

  “Uh huh,” Remi said, squinting above the lens.

  “Left, Remi,” she said once again.

  “I got this Jane!”

  “Yes, Remi.”

  When he had just the right angle, Remi carefully placed the copper strand across the two rails. As soon as he did, the middle of the box glowed blue while the copper flashed a bright red.

  “Thank you, Remi. I now have full control of the nanites.”

  “Can I,” Remi stopped and corrected himself, “may I, replace your cover now?”

  “Yes, Remi, you may.”

  As the cover approached the rest of the unit, it snapped down with a magnetic pull and sealed shut, emitting a bright burst of light. The action startled Remi and he pulled his hand back in shock. He couldn’t even find the seam that had been there moments ago.

  “Remi, I have detected a fluctuation in your heart rate and accompanying biochemical mechanics,” said Jane.

  “You just surprised me, that’s all, it’s nothing.”

  “I will refrain from any sudden movements which might induce this reaction in the future.”

  “Thanks,” he said and tapped the box twice, “what’re you going to do now?”

  “I have scanned several open radio frequencies in the immediate vicinity which may be used as gateways to the global data net. I will utilize these and attempt to ascertain Albert’s whereabouts.”

  “Those aren’t free though, use the one that I was using on my computer.”

  “Yes Remi,” Jane said as her blue glow turned a shade darker.

  “How long do you think this is going to take?

  “The data throughput on this frequency is limited. Estimated time to completion... indeterminate,” said Jane.

  “Well, you keep at it then,” Remi replied with a yawn, “I’m going to get some sleep. I’ll check on you in the morning. Goodnight, Jane.”

  “Goodnight, Remi.”